How To Find The Right Balance
The Boss At Work The Mum At Home
Written by Donna Cameron
I am extremely grateful to the women before us who took on the battle for our rights as women - the right to vote, to work, and to be independent and free. Did they know, however, that with this newfound freedom and our entry into the world to follow our career ambitions, the housework, cooking and parenting would still be there to do as well?
Trying to find the work/life balance is hard. We want it all! We want to be available for our children and be able to watch them grow, keep the house sparkling, have a good relationship with our partner, have great health, and have a successful career. So what is the answer? How can we be successful in our work life and still feel like we are doing what we need for our family and ourselves? Can we have it all?
Some women dream of having a family and being stay-at-home mum. This is perfectly fine and they are doing exactly what they are meant to be doing in their life. Some women have different ideas. They want a family and a career. Often these second types of women can struggle to find the right balance and can suffer from ‘mummy guilts’ when they are away from the family unit.
I knew from a young age that I wanted both, but giving myself permission to ‘go for it’, was the hardest part. Many females present to therapy requiring external validation for their decision to be the breadwinner and to also follow their career goals. They know what kind of lifestyle they want, but they struggle with the perception of others and the views that are still present about how women and mothers ‘should’ spend their time.
It is important to remind yourself that in life, your goals, hopes, and dreams are important. Just like your children, you are also only here for a short time so it is important to make every moment count! Being content and congruent with your own needs creates satisfaction in life. It makes you happy and confident. Going against your needs creates dissatisfaction, stress and unhappiness. There are only so many hours in the day, and if you want to succeed as a mother, partner and in your career, there need to be some boundaries in all areas. Burnout will occur if you ignore this and try to “do everything”.
Tips For Work/Life Balance.
1. Scheduling is your friend! Get out of the weekly calendar and schedule your time for the week. Include in this schedule the very important, and often forgotten, self-care for you. Add in time with your children, date night with your partner, sleep time, mealtime and work time. Be realistic with your time and don’t overload any of the days. By plotting it out and blocking everything that you ‘need to do’ you will see what else you actually have time for.
2. Priorities. On weeks that you know, there are extra events happening, such as appointments for the children, time from another area of your life will have to be reduced. This cannot be self-care as taking away self-care, especially for the busy woman, is going to result in a very stressed-out boss Mumma! During these weeks, the washing might fall behind or it might be better to order meals. Develop these plans so that when you do have to prioritise family or work you know what can be adjusted for the week.
3. Be in the moment when you need to. If you have an important event at work or an activity with the children, be present in that moment. Quality of time in everything you do creates greater success than the quantity of time if you are distracted.
Meeting your needs and the needs of others is possible. Never ever feel bad about your choices in life to want it all. You can have it with organisation, balance and self-care. Reach out to others such as your partner to help when needed. As women, we are very powerful and can take on a lot - but even the superheroes can ask for help and still keep their capes.
The Boss At Work The Mum At Home The Boss At Work The Mum At Home The Boss At Work The Mum At Home
