Your Life & Your Terms
Written by Sally McGrath
Rules can be useful (and life-saving!) when they protect our safety. Traffic lights, for instance, are important to obey. Many other rules, however, are useful to ponder, question, and often break. (Note: this is not a suggestion to live with destructive abandon).
Meet The Rulebreakers
Anyone you admire has probably broken many rules to change the world for the better. Nancy Walton Bird was the first Australian woman to get her pilot’s licence. Martin Luther King organized nonviolent protests that inspired global change. Joan of Arc (in her teens!) led an army to victory to defend her truth and think about the movement the Suffragettes started, paving the way for women to vote!
Sometimes the rules aren't so obvious. Sometimes the rules are just assumptions about the way life has to be shrouded in expectation, conditioning, maintaining the status-quo or otherwise known as conforming. Rule breakers and trail blazers aren't limited to the heroes we read about in history books. “Shakers” are all around us, from the school grounds to the workplace “shakers” live life on-their-shamelessly-own terms.
Your Heroes as Inspiration
We all have heroes in our daily lives; mothers, fathers, siblings, children, co-workers, and friends who've improved their & our lives by going against the tide. Who do you admire? Is there someone in your life that blazes trails and reminds you to be fearless, follow your dreams and reminds you that you have the power within to accomplish anything. It’s refreshing to spend time with these kinds of people as they take you on a ride in their shoes, leaving you energised and inspired by the experience. Maybe this is just the example you need to seek the path to create your set of rules.
Is this person a family friend? Maybe it's you who believed in your artistic dream before you did. A friend who encouraged you to leave the boyfriend who was perfect on paper, but not for you. A brother who was so brave about his sexuality and inspired you to take charge of your life and your health.
Our heroes are important to us because they believed in their vision for how life could be when no one else did. They took giant leaps of faith, went against the grain, broke the rules, and made changes to the world.
Failing Forward Is Living
Sometimes "following the rules" means holding ourselves back. It's easy to fall back into old, safe habits and stay in our comfort zone. Creating your own set of rules takes courage and reframing your view of failure, rather than seeing failure as a downfall and negative, consider and review what you have and can learn. When you look at history and the successes there are plenty of “failures” before the success, so failing forward is learning and growing, building resilience to live by your own rules. Focusing on what can happen rather than what might happen if you allow doubt to guide you. It’s too easy to imagine your own failure. So focus on your success, your lessons, your experiences and most importantly, how will you view a missed opportunity when you reflect in years to come?
Write your own script;
What happens if we take a chance on ourselves, our dreams, our life? What happens if we consider how we're living, break the rules that aren't serving us, and write our own rules?
Ask yourself:
Who made the rules that we live by?
Which rules are you willing to stand by and which are you brave enough to break?
5 Tips For Being The Creator Of Your Own Rules
1. Ground Yourself, give yourself the space to identify what you really want to change in your life. Take time with yourself to listen in to your intuition and find contentment in being alone to cultivate your purpose and direction.
2. Write A List Of What’s Not Working For You. Do you go along, following a set of rules, just because you’ve been conditioned to do so? How do these rules make you feel? Capture examples that will remind you. To go forward you must first reflect upon what has happened so you avoid what has not served you. when creating your own set of rules.
3. Give Yourself Space. Both headspace and physically in your home, create a space for your creativity, find a space outside that inspires your creative flow and review your commitments in your diary to give yourself the gift of time.
4. Nourish Your Creativity and identify something you enjoy. Maybe it’s a hobby or interest you have not previously allowed yourself time for, now is the time to cultivate your creativity which will also help improve your mental, physical and spiritual needs.
5. Start Making Simple New Rules. Formulate the new rules that serve you, your desires and your purpose. It can be as simple as I'm going to stop being influenced by others opinions, or I'm going to give myself the gift of time to myself before my day begins with yoga, meditation, exercise or, I'm going to take a leap and start that side hustle I’ve been constantly thinking about.
Most Importantly These Are Your Rules On Your Terms.
Set your rules in your mind, write them down, and allow the possibility that you may start the process again in a week, a month, or a year. As you grow so too will your new and evolving rules. Stick to the new version of your rules especially amongst the waves of external opinions and influences. Do what makes you happy. If you don’t, no one will.
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