Keeping Passion Alive While Trying For A Baby
Written by Dr Raewyn Teirney
Passion is something we all need, whether it's giving or receiving. This is never more true than when you're trying to conceive a baby. In a perfect world, we would all fall pregnant within a month or two of trying. Unfortunately, for many couples, this isn't a reality. Fertility tracking, blood tests, sometimes challenging rounds of IVF and fertility treatment follow. These can quickly zap the passion out of any relationship. If you're making love on cue, to tie in with your most fertile days, the passion can quickly fade from normally romantic, intimate moments.
Here, are my top tips for keeping the passion alive when you're trying to conceive.
Spark Passion With A Regular Date Night
While it might seem contrived, you can make date night anything but! Mix it up with spicy Mexican one week, an edge-of-your-seat thriller the next, and perhaps a more romantic fine dining restaurant another. The key is to keep things varied, interesting and fun. You're already following a lot of instructions and methods, so date night should be spontaneous and fun.
Game Night
In the same vein as mixing up date night, the game night should be spontaneous, full of laughs and of course, passion! Why not set aside a night where the two of you can explore each other's minds and bodies? A sensual twist on Trivia is always fun. Take time to research your questions and delve into historical love affairs, tales of passion and excitement from a bygone era. Then prepare questions for each other. Perhaps the partner who gets the answer incorrect has to remove an item of clothing? I'm sure you can see where the end of this game takes you! Almost any game, be it a board game, a game of fitness, or a card game, can be turned into something that ignites your passion.
Exercising Together
Exercise and passion, as well as the desire for intimacy, are inextricably linked. A 2018 study of 133 subjects aged between 18 and 50 years found there is a definite positive relationship between physical fitness and sexual health. The study examined the effects of physical fitness and self-concept on sexual functioning.
Physical fitness was assessed through body composition, cardiovascular endurance, muscular strength, and muscular endurance. Self-concept was presented as a total self-concept score and as six individual concepts of self. Sexual function was presented as both an aggregate score and five separate constructs of sexual functioning. These were fantasy/cognition, arousal, orgasm, behaviour/experience, and drive/desire.
The results indicated that sexual behaviour and experience were predicted by body fat percentage. In men, fantasy was related to total self-concept; sexual behaviour and experience were related to likability. In women, arousal was predicted by cardiovascular endurance. Total self-concept was related to both orgasm and sex drive/desire. Power and muscular strength were significantly related to the number of sexual partners in women but not men.
So, try to include exercise in your daily routine. Make it something you do as a couple, at least three times a week. Go for a jog together. Work out a strength training routine where you rely on each other's body weight or resistance to work your muscles. Get in the yoga studio and stretch it out together. These are sure-fire ways to keep your passion alive, as well as ignite even more! Also remember, the fitter and healthier you are, the better your canes of conceiving a baby naturally.
Couples Massage
Light some candles, put on some sensual, relaxing music and take turns giving each other a slow, sensual massage. Use a beautiful calming oil that has a mild blend of pregnancy-safe essential oils like rose, lavender or chamomile (ensure they are well diluted in a carrier oil like avocado oil. Avoid other essential oils as they might have a contraindication to pregnancy). Take it slowly and do your best to stay relaxed. The passion should fire up before you know it!
Random Surprises
Keep the passion alive by surprising your significant other with random surprises. Slip a love note in their work lunch. Cook and deliver breakfast in bed. Organise tickets to their favourite show or movie. Keeping each other in front of your mind and ensuring you spoil each other will always help keep the romance alive!
Keeping Passion Alive While Trying For A Baby Keeping Passion Alive While Trying For A Baby
