Written by Claire Dunkley from Cluzie Clinic
We have all had those mornings where NOTHING has gone to plan. Whether it’s that the coffee machine broke, the child was up all night vomiting, your best friend has passed away, you had an argument with your lover, or you just had a really poor nights’ sleep.
There are so many opportunities where the ideal ‘zen-like’ picture for your life can be interrupted. These hiccups (sometimes major disturbances) in life are ALWAYS going to happen and yes, they are annoying. However, there’s real benefit in observing what reaction you have in the moment, or shortly after, as this will dictate your experience of harmony in your life.
The Hindsight Window
Eric Edmeades has come up with a really cool happiness dictator idea called “The Hindsight Window”. Basically, anytime something happens to you that has a negative twang, the amount of time it takes for you to find the silver lining of that situation will have an effect on your own happiness.
So, let’s say your coffee machine breaks.
One reality is it could wreck the whole day/week of ‘oh no I haven’t had my morning coffee, I feel like crap. The machine is not insured and I just can’t afford the time/money to go and get it looked at.’
The second reality is ‘I might take myself out for a treat and go get a café made coffee today, I might even walk to the coffee shop and get some incidental exercise in and build my immune system at the same time … winning’.
Then a week later, you get to buy a new coffee machine that is actually really cool and has more bells and whistles to it. Again… winning!
Two very different outlooks on the same event à coffee machine breaking. However, the amount of time from the event happening to have a positive thought about the event IS what Edmeades calls “The Hindsight Window”. If the time taken is 5 minutes – your happiness will be more; if it is closer to a week, your happiness will be less.
What if the situation was more extreme like your house has been ransacked and robbed! There is a heap of stuff that you need to do once this event has happened … call the cops, clean up, work out what has been stolen, put in the insurance claim, go and buy replacement gear, get over the heartbreak of loved items no longer being in your presence … lots of things.
First, let’s agree, this situation SUCKS however if you allow yourself to stay bogged down in the heartbreak and hassle of it all, your experience of life will be sad, traumatised and frightened for the longer term. The sooner you can move to the point of the silver lining of having new items to play with, the happier your life experience will be.
Sometimes this is easier said than done.
So much of our experience of harmony in life relates to what our expectations are rather than acceptance of what is actually occurring. If you think about anyone ‘thing’ you are unhappy about, you may find that your unhappiness is more about an unmet expectation rather than the actual ‘thing’ in and of itself.
Your life partner doesn’t do <X>, you are annoyed at them. Your expectation of what they should have done is different to what they have done. Thus you are sad. If you are conscious enough to be able to let go of your expectation and accept them for who they are and what they have done, your experience will be more harmonious. … This is Buddha level consciousness!
Or let’s say you do not get the promotion you have been going for. The expectation was that you would get the promotion however you didn’t and thus you are sad. If there is acceptance that everything is in its own time, and leave it to Source to dictate what is best for you, you may find your ability to ‘bounce back’ is greater. This letting go and trusting that it is all ok, will provide a much more harmonious experience of life.
In The Moment Trick
When you see that you are upset, the key is to STOP! Take a moment and reflect on what your expectation is in that moment, and see how it is impacting your happiness level right now. Think through what would happen if you just accepted what is happening right now. Then, if you can, see if you can find a silver lining in whatever is happening right now and focus on that.
- Where your focus goes
- Energy flows
- And results show
How to create a more harmonious life! How to create a more harmonious life! How to create a more harmonious life!