Written by Susie Taaffe
Ok, I will admit that I am one of those annoyingly positive people. I do look at everything and shift my perspective to find the positive aspect of a situation. However, this is because I have trained myself to be this way. It doesn’t mean life throws me any fewer challenges but as the saying goes – when life gives you lemons, make margaritas!! Yes, yes I know the saying is lemonade but margaritas are way more fun. Life is supposed to be fun! You can drag your feet through it with a scowl on your face OR you can kick your heels up wearing a Mexican sombrero singing Ole! You choose.
I know my content is usually centred around style and fashion however I am so passionate about mastering your mindset that I will be sticking to that this issue. Well aside from me sharing with you to view spilling coffee all over your outfit as a blessing!!
Are YOU Happy?
My first question to ponder is – ‘Are you happy with your life right now?’ What (or who) is helping you and what (who) is hindering you? Taking the time to have a good look at all the aspects of our lives and reflect is a great self-practice and I do it every few months. It helps to stay in your own alignment with who you are. You know what or who makes you feel good – it’s not rocket science. So do more of that. And do less of what does not make you feel good. Simple! Do you know the list of ‘shoulds’ we always lug around? I’m telling you to throw them in the metaphorical bin! Give yourself some space! Too much time is spent doing things we think we should do instead of what we actually want to do!
It also helps to know where we are headed in this life! Sure, you can drive around blindly but you’re not going to get where you want to go if you don’t even know where that is! Get back into the driver’s seat of your life. You might be in a job you don’t particularly love but obviously, you can’t just quit, there are bills to pay. What you can do though is enrich your time after work with hobbies and friends that fulfill you. You can also look at ways to move your work trajectory into an area you love. View this as a long-term project with lots of small stepping stones. Even the awareness of where you would like to end up is a big step! I believe if we at least know what we want it to look like then we are on the way!
I have a very strong belief in divine timing. Often, we don’t know the skills we are learning or experiences we are having and how they are going to relate to in the future. Then that wonderful hindsight kicks in again and we can see why it had to happen that way. I like to apply this belief to the present, especially to the annoying and frustrating ones! We’ve all been in a traffic jam before and it’s making us late and irritated. Does this change the fact that we are stuck there though? I like to take a HUGE breath first and then see the higher perspective that I am exactly where I am supposed to be always. Adopt this mantra to never feel rushed or overwhelmed. There is a much bigger picture happening! For an extreme example, maybe the delay in traffic is changing the course of a potential accident that will now never happen. Total ‘Sliding Doors’ moments! (Reference to a movie from 1998).
Everything is working out for me in the best way possible – even if I can’t see how yet! Have you ever been devastated by an event happening only to look back in hindsight and see how the path you ended up taking was far more beneficial for you in the long run? Things happen for a reason etc etc blah blah blah! I get it is like a broken record but, trust me and try it.
So now if I spill my coffee all over myself on my way to work, I just shrug and laugh it off. Obviously, I’m meant to wear something different today! See, we can choose to get irritated and annoyed by this but you are only hurting yourself! Who benefits from you being irritated and annoyed? It achieves nothing. I just laugh at myself with a massive woooooopsie daisy! (Maybe also keep a change of clothes in your car or desk.)
I recently read a funny meme about only getting your shirt caught on a drawer handle when you are in a bad mood! I wear one baggy shirt dress that gets caught ALL THE TIME. Yank….. Nope you’re not going over there, instead, you are having a deep and meaningful conversation with the cutlery drawer! I mean, you just have to laugh it off! Or maybe it’s the precursor to completely losing the plot and crying on the kitchen floor! Either option is ok however after your tears have run out, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and have a laugh!
Negative Emotions Are Good
Don’t feel bad for feeling negative emotions – they are there for a reason. Like a signpost or signal that something in your life isn’t calibrated quite right. When I find myself crying on the kitchen floor it is mostly because I am tired, stressed, and feeling extremely overwhelmed. It is an exceptional indicator that something in your life needs to change, you just need to figure out what it is.
Once when I was feeling overwhelmed, I did a little exercise (in the midst of my pity party) and wrote down everything that I wished I had i.e. what I thought might fix how I felt. On the list: money (duh obviously), holiday, help with the house and kids, a beautiful hotel room and spa massage etc. As I continued to write, I noticed a bit of a theme – I was just exhausted. The prescription for my ailments – is a nap. I was at work so I finished early, went home and hopped into bed at 4 pm. Read my book and went to sleep as early as I could. I followed that by clearing non-essential activities and after another day I was back to my old self. Don’t ever underestimate the value of a good rest. It is hard to feel positive when you’re shattered.
It's Not About You
I’m also going to touch on dealing with people who don’t make you feel great. A piece of advice I’ve been given and want to share is - only people who don’t feel good about themselves need to make other people feel bad. This crops up time and time again and I can promise you that if someone feels good about themselves inside and out, they won’t be making mean comments or doing mean things. They’re too busy feeling great! Your job is to make yourself feel great and not let the actions of others derail that. You can be assured that Karma will do your dirty work for you! Brush it off, say this is about them and not about me, and move forward with all your fabulousness!
So, it’s time to take back the wheel and steer yourself in the direction of happiness and contentment. I think our inner world is so important – get that right and you can wear a paper bag and look amazing! Stay true to yourself and don’t let others dampen your spirit. Let go of your preconceived ideas of how things need to happen and allow this fabulous, wonderful life to surprise you!
Much love Susie xoxo
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