Written by Laura Naomi
Sexuality can be a difficult topic to discuss openly for a lot of us. It is not unusual for embarrassment or nervousness to emerge and the need to keep issues or concerns private. For others it can inspire intrigue and excitement about exploring new and uncharted waters.
It is an area of life that has often reminded me of the iceberg phenomenon, where a large majority of mystery lies beneath the surface. Sexual energy is multifaceted and can be quite complex.
Pleasure, sexual energy and creativity are associated with the the second chakra - The Sacral Chakra. Although it is one of the first chakras to develop after the base chakra, due to life circumstances it often does not develop and mature to its full potential. When underdeveloped it can be somewhat distorted, collapsed, shutdown or become over-stimulated. These variations can directly affect how we navigate through life, how we relate to others and ourselves. The Sacral Chakra is also directly associated with sensorial experiences such as touch, sensations, moods and attitudes. It is common when sensual energy is unblocked that sensations are felt in the body, from mild to very powerful along with emotional releases.
Sexual energy is creative energy
The very fact that we are alive is creation in essence. We are constantly creating and using energy to manifest experiences in our lives. Our creative potential as human beings is incredibly powerful and has a ripple affect into the greater collective. It is clear that the world is in chaos in regards to sacred sexuality with very extreme viewpoints, yet with the re-awakening of the Goddess energy, awareness is shifting. The sacred feminine and masculine already exists deep within every human being. It is part of the vital energy that gives nourishment and inspiration to who we are and our purpose for being.
It’s an adventure - Rediscovering Sensuality
Defining what our own sexual/creative energy means to us is important if we want to discover (or re-discover) this part of ourselves. The minimal support and education in our society falls dramatically short of nurturing the depth of this energy in wholesome, fulfilling and healthy ways. Many people experience suppressive upbringings, within different societies, cultures and family dynamics along with difficult life circumstances that can greatly impact one’s ability to exist in the world. When we allow ourselves the opportunity to discover our sensual selves in a way that feels authentic, natural and freeing, it encourages a depth of connection and gratitude with life in general. Many people are not certain just how to access this part of themselves however, or to the degree they’d like to.
Giving ourselves permission
Part of this personal exploration is giving ourselves permission in the first place to experience this energy and allow it to bloom. Upon giving ourselves permission, we may find that we want to dive deeper into what we truly find sensual within ourselves, our relationship and in life. Following are some questions with examples to support reflecting on this. Allow any feelings positive or negative to emerge, we are making space for all emotion, or none as the case may be. Notice any responses and allow them to simply be.
What do I find pleasurable?
Examples: certain ways of being touched, sensations, wearing certain clothes/materials, specific foods, dancing, cuddling my partner, kissing, being in nature
What ignites the feeling of being sexy, alive and sensual?
Examples: when I feel a deeper connection with my partner, when I wear beautiful lingerie or sensual perfume/cologne, when I put aside some ‘me time’ and enjoy a massage/spa day/bubble bath, when I make time for my partner and I to go away for the weekend, re-creating mystery in my relationship.
When I feel sensual how does it feel in my body?
Examples: liberating, exciting, warm, flowing, tingly or uncomfortable, rigid, nervous or numb.
What would it mean to me if I allowed myself to feel more pleasure?
Examples: it would mean I could be more relaxed, or be more myself, I’d feel free, I could let go and explore parts of myself I am yet to discover or I’d feel uncertain, fearful, resistance or avoidance.
Do I know how to ask my partner what I like?
Examples: heart-centred, honest, non-blame and encouraging communication is very effective.
How would I like to access my sensuality more?
Examples: go slowly, daily meditation/exercises, journal about my feelings/inspirations/ challenges, learn how to love my body more and feel more confident in my sensual expression, (such as self-acceptance mirror exercises and compassionate inner dialogue), etc
Key elements of connecting more to our sensual nature - Rediscovering Sensuality
When we approach our body and sexuality with more mindfulness it nurtures the inner fire (our life-force) which strengthens and expands over time. The expression of this energy and journey of discovery is unique for everyone and how we channel it through into our lives.
While on this adventure, it is important to give ourselves plenty of time, compassion and kindness to support our own growth. How we express our sensual, sexual and creative energies is also very important. When we are able to reach a place where we can give gratitude, love and appreciation to our perceived imperfections, (which I feel is actually what makes us unique and holds a lot of beauty) it brings us closer to being more comfortable in our own skin without the pressure of outside influences. Light-heartedness, curiosity and surrender are also key elements. Learning to embrace and flow with the mysteries of our sensual creative energy, reveals timeless and invaluable treasures.
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